Think like a Man, Act like a Lady - Steve Harvey

I recognize I've started to read this book after I have broken up with my ex-lover. You know how men make fun of the women's way too complicated to be but this is similar to us, women, when it comes to understand men. They are hard to understand sometimes, why they do what they do. Steve Harvey offers to us, women, some very good insights from a man's perspective and as long as you're reading, you could figure out that he's right in the main.

What you have to pay attention from this book:

''Men are simple. They are driven by who they are, what they do, and how much they make.
And until he’s achieved his goal in those three areas, the man you're dating, commited to, or married to will be too busy to focus on you.''

''Even more, we want to feel like we're number one. We want to be the Best somewhere. In charge. We know we're not going to be head man in every situation, but somewhere in our lives, we're going to be the one everyone answers to because it's that important to us.''

''A man's love is different-much more simple, direct, and probably a little harder to come by.''

''A man who professes you as his own is also saying in not so many words that he's claiming you-that you are his. If he introduces you as his “friend,” or by your name, have no doubt that's all you are. He doesn't think any more of you than that.''

''Once you've claimed you, and you've returned the honor, we're going to start bringing home the bacon. This is the very core of the manhood- to be the provider.''

''And if a man can't provide, the he doesn't feel like a man, so he flees to escape the horrible feelings of inadequacy, or he's going to bury those feelings in drugs and alcohol.''

''.. a man, a real one, anyway - want to feel needed. And the easiest way to help him get that high is to let him provide for you. This is only fair.''

''Once he says he cares about you, you are a prized possesion to him, he will do anything to protect that prized possesion.''

''The three things every men needs are: support, loyalty, and cookie.''
''we need to talk'' make men run for cover''

''A man always wants somethings. Always. And when it comes to women, that plan is always to find out two things: 1) if you're willing to sleep with him, and 2) If you are, how much it will cost to get you to sleep with him. He's trying to see if your ''price'' is too high, if it's affordable, if he can gets it on credit, wheter he can get it tonight. If you don't lay out any requirements, then you're free- game on. He knows he can get you to the bed with minimal effort. But if you tell him up front you have requirements - you need his time, his respect, his attention - then he knows you're expensive, that he's going to need to put in work to get the cookie.''

''If you let him know up front, he will let you know up front if it's too high a price for him to pay. And then you can move on.''

''Men cheat because they... can. Because they think they can get away with it. Because he hasn't become who and needs to be or found who he truly wants. Because what's happening at home isnt ''happening'' like it used to. And the biggest reason of all: There is always a woman out there willing to cheat with him.''

''Men are very simple, logical people; if you tell us what you like and what you don't like, we'll do anything we can to make sure we live up to your expectations, particularly if we're interested in forging a relationship with you.(But beware of telling a man everything you like when you first meet... )''


The five questions every woman should ask before she gets in too deep:

 1) What are your short-term goals ?

''You should also be figuring out if you see yourself in that short-term plan, if you know what his plan is, you can immediately assess if you want to be part of it and what role you can play in it, or if you need to remove yourself from that equation.
And if he doesn’t have a plan, he’s not going to achieve his short-term goal- or it's really not a goal, he's just talking out of his behind.''

2)What are your long-term goals ?

If he says something silly like '' I'm just trying to make it day by day '', run.
If his long-term plan is the same as his short-term plan, get out. Immediately.

3)What are your views on relationships ?

Ask him about his mother, his father. If he had a good relationships with their parents, ''then chances are he knows how to treat a woman with respect and has some kind of idea of how to profess, provide, and protect not only a woman but a potential familly, too.''
Ask him about his relationship with God. If he hasn't ''What’s going to make him even consider being loyal to you?''

4) What do you think about me ?

Listen to his answer closely. Every man will answer this question the same exact way. ''I think you're great, I think you'd make a great mom, you're fun, kind, reaally beautiful, you turn me on, you're energetic, outgoing, a hard worker, very smart. I think you're the kind of woman I could see myself with,'' all of that generic stuff we know you want to hear. Still, this isn't the answer you should be looking for. You want specifics. You want to know that he's really thought about you beyond the surface. So do follow-ups. '' Oh, you think I'm kind ? What about me makes you think I'm kind ?'' Then sit back and listen. If he can't give you a concrete exemple of how you've shown your kindness, he's not really thinking about you beyond the surface.''

5) How do you feel about me ?

''Now this is not to be confused with what do you “think” about me----''think'' and ''feel'' and two wholly different things.''
And if a man cannot tell you how he feels about you after a month of dating, it's because he doesn't feel anything for you---he just want something.''

If you’re already in a relationship with someone, these questions are still valid if you don't know the answers. You can ask them for clarification.

''Your man hasn’t asked you to marry him because of one or more of the following reasons: 1)he is still married to someone else; 2) you're really not the one he wants; or the real answer you don't want to hear, 3) you haven't requirred him to marry you or set a date.''